Self #2

Here is the other self-portait that wouldn’t upload yesterday for some reason.

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I have a question for all of you. I don’t know if it’s because I’m narccisistic or what, but the idea of self-portraits and the juxtaposition of the self ( that internal sense of self that is connected or disconnected, shaped or unmade by our environment) with our environments is a point of obsession for me. Not just the self but my self. For this reason–and I know this is a shallow example–I find shows like What Not To Wear very interesting because there is often such a disconnect or disparity between the way people see themselves and the way they are seen and I know you may be thinking, “But that show is just about physical appearance. Surely we are more than that!” and, of course, we are, but I think the way we present ourselves visually is a little window into how we see ourselves and our awareness or lack thereof of how we are seen. I am passing no judgement here. I often mourn the loss of how people on those shows have their mental image of themselves ripped away and shrunken to what is attractive or unattractive. Maybe they look goofy or could look “better” but maybe it doesn’t matter if they’re content and comfortable in the self they put on with their clothing….Just sayin’. But my question is: do you have any ideas for a photo project that would juxtapose the internal self, the mental image with the surroundings we find ourselves in?

I think it would be really neat to do nudes (not sexualized) in the midst of domestic chaos, for example…..but I probably couldn’t put that up on here.

Let me know what you think or if you have ideas. Or, if you’re in my area (Vancouver BC) maybe we could collaborate!

Self

I feel incredibly self-conscious about self-portraits like this one. As though I am staring, unblinkingly into a mirror and inviting everyone else to to take a look at what I see there without any glossing over or prettying up of the subject. There is, at least, the light that has the sensitivity to allow half my face to rest in shadows.
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Senor Santa

This Christmas I broke down and bought a seasonal CD from Starbucks…and there are about five songs that I am totally crazy about, but my favorite is the very quirky but tender “Senor Santa” by Y La Bamba. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m079Dc3LH1Q There is something so wistful and hopefully about this song. And it seemed to fit perfectly with the tacky Christmas sweater that  I got this year which, I think, expressed a lot of the same qualities as  the song. The tropical theme of the sweater was bright, magical and playful. It made me giggle and feel happy despite the snow/sleet/general over-cast-ness of the winter weather. Don’t get me wrong, the sweater is hideously ugly and way too big for me. A little voice in the back of my head is warning me that I am turning into one of those 40-50 year old women who wear shapeless sweatshirts with cats embroidered on them with way too much attention to detail and no concern whatsoever for the overall effect. The little voice tells me that next year I will have invested in earrings and necklace that probably require batteries. But I don’t care. I love this sweater way too much to pay any attention to the look of horror on my husband’s face or the early signs of advancing middle-age.

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