I love photography but I really have no idea what I’m doing …and I kind of like it that way. Photography for me is a source of constant discovery and experimentation. Unlike writing, there is no real inner critic when I take pictures. I can enjoy the thrill of taking pictures without the pressure to produce anything which is why it is one of my favorite stress relievers. These photos are a result of condensation getting caught between my lens and the macro filter. I kind of wish I had left it there longer. These were taken on my balcony.
A photo essay of mine got published in an on-line magazine called Queen Bee Collective!!!!! This is my first time getting published so I’m pretty excited:D Check it out! I’m sure you’ll recognize some of the photos…
I wanted to put some photos I took recently but am having computer issues (wordpress doesn’t “see” my recently uploaded pictures. Does anyone know why?) so, instead here is a picture of a spider we happened upon in the fall. My daughter and I were on a walk and she was in the middle of the sidewalk moving very sluggishly, looking, perhaps, for a place to lay her eggs? I’ll be honest with you, when I see a spider I get that tingling at the back of my neck and I have to resist the urge to brush the imaginary spider away, but I think my mild discomfort (well-controlled fear) with spiders feeds into my fascination with them. They seem such alien, unfathomable, threatening creatures and are beautiful in their strangeness. Not like centipedes, they’re just plain old creepy (stomp, stomp!).
We used this leaf to move her gentle to the side of the walkway where we hope she found a safe place to stash her eggs for the winter. This spider is very common here and not poisonous though I’m sure she would bit out of self-defence. The markings on her back are so pretty, no? I like the way she shows up against the red of the leaf. I’m pretty sure this is an orb-weaving spider.
My daughter was recently hospitalized, more out of caution than necessity (for which I thank our doctor as it is better to be safe than sorry), but ohmyfuckinggod was it ever stressful for me as my husband was away in Toronto and I had to drag Henry along with me (he was the best behaved baby the whole time and absolutely loved the hospital. What gadget/electronics oriented child wouldn’t?), but sleeping on a mattress on the floor of my daughter’s hospital room with him was less than restful.
So, what do I do when things are stressful? Tune them out, even just for brief snatches of time. Turn away for the space of a breath, from the anxiety of my child in a hospital bed to the window because although I know her illness isn’t serious the precariousness of my children’s safety is brought too close in the children’s ward where many others (the baby whose cry we heard through most of the night) will not recover so quickly, where many other parents struggle with the heartbreak of an inconsolable child who they are unable to protect .
If I were religious I might have broken out the verse, “The heavens declare the glory of god and the firmament showeth her handiwork. Day unto day utereth speech and night unto night showeth knowledge”(that one’s for you Mom). The King James version of the bible was the one I grew up with and was my first exposure to poetry (one of the things I am most passionate about). From the bible I moved on to Shakespeare (obviously), them fell in love with Leaves of Grass by Whitman and on from there. But there are still many verses from the bible that I was forced to memorize as a child standing in the corner for some offence or another ( usually foolishness and daydreaming. I still indulge in both.) that come to me in the same way that a commercial jingle or children’s song do. The difference, of course, is the context. Along with the scripture comes that sense of security (false as it turns out) and the value we were taught to attach to these words by our teachers and parents making them more weighty. Isn’t it amazing how seductive and comfortable the familiar is? I guess that’s why they say ignorance is bliss.
This collection features some of my favorite subjects; trains, my kids, and random strangers. The trains are out of focuse, for the most part because we were driving. Does it work? I don’t know. One of these days I will prevail upon my husband to stop at this most inconvenient location and I will be able to take more time photographing the beautiful art on these trains. And all those great, towering industrial buildings with their network of pipes that make me think of that movie San Francisco in which Robert de Niro is a rebel messing with the sewage. For some reason the pipes made quite an impression when I watched it ten years ago, but then I was smoking a lot of pot at the time;)